Thirsty Thursday! A toast to the best comments of the day:
Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Man In The Ultrasound: “Dawn Kelley is not my lover/she’s just a girl who sees me en utero…/The kid is not my son!” Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Ha-Ha Headline Of The Day: “Never sleeps, can’t be killed using conventional means, lives forever and keeps coming back and never leaves you alone…. herpes and Edward Cullen have a lot more in common than I initially thought.” Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Everybody Panic: President Obama Looks Old: “omg they are right! check out how he looked in 2006: 
”
Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Blood On The Senate Floor: Majority Leader Drops Stupak-Pitts:
Social issues are the only way conservatives can get any traction for their immensely unpopular economic theories (everyone’s a libertarian until it’s THEIR mortgage tax credit being sacrificed for the good of the nation, or THEIR favorite government service or THEIR defense contractor’s lavish base that happens to employ 20% of the Congressman’s population). Even the stereotypical racist white southerner really doesn’t give two craps about increasing the capital gains tax if it’s explained to him/her accurately (something that will never affect you and only affects people like Bill Gates who pays less taxes on his money a year than you do making 20,000 a year). That is not going to get him to vote in an election between two wealthy people who have no idea how to fix his problems.
Basically, conservatives have made the historical accident of the shanking of the working class and the liberalization of the lives of non-hegemonic white males a cause and effect relationship, when there’s probably not even a correlation. That’s why most conservative rhetoric sounds idiotic. Gay marriage and NAFTA have nothing to do with each other, but working class whites can’t do anything about globalization. They CAN, however, shank a gay person because their dreams were wrecked long ago by god knows what arcane piece of legislation passed by Reagan while he was wavin’ the flag (or sadly, by Bill Clinton triangulating).
As long as people with money need abortion to upset despairing white people, abortion will be an issue. People with money (health insurance companies) needed to upset old white people. Hence, death panels and now abortion.
Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.
Meetups? Use the meetup tag page!
[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]
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